Love the Gift

day 9




I went to my cousins house last night for FHE and had a blast make Candy Trains. Because who makes gingerbread houses anymore.
(observe picture below of my "train wreck")

Pretty legit, right?

And yes, the snowmen have fallen over the railroad track, awaiting their death. Somewhat morbid, I know.

 

Anyway, on my drive home, I turned off my music and listened to the heater blow warm air on my face and hands. I allowed my thoughts and feelings to come to the front of my mind.

 

I thought about how blessed I am.

I thought about how scared I am for finals.

I thought about Matt and Greta and their adorable baby boy, who will be arriving in this world SOON!

I thought about my sister and her wonderful life and how much I miss her.

I thought about my mom. I LOVE HER.

I thought about my inadequacies and my strengths.

I thought about my friends.

I thought about the difficulties and hardships I am facing.

 

It is so easy to go from happy and wholesome thoughts, to hard and depressing thoughts. I got trapped in an array of emotions that caused me to feel as though I was less than the dust of the Earth. I started to feel that the experiences I am going through are not FAIR.

 

Why am I the one stuck with hard roommates year after year? Why do I have to be the one who is verbally attacked and talked about behind my back? What have I done that has caused this to happen to me?

 

Look at all I've done. I've been so good lately and yet, I am still suffering.

 

Then today, at work, I found this glorious quote.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the precise power that we need to overcome our natural man tendencies. We may feel that the world is against us and we are the target of people's jokes. We may feel bullied and unloved. That is not fair.

The Atonement takes away all those feelings of "fair" and "unfair". The Atonement fill us with all those happy feelings that we are missing.

 

When I read this, I was filled with LOVE because that is what I needed. I needed to feel LOVED by someone. I was seeking the love from the people around me and I wasn't getting it. I needed to go to the one and only person who understands what I am going through and can perfectly love me in the exact way I need.

 

What can we fear, when filled with such love. 

 

I know that the Lord is there  is fill us with the kind of love and happiness that we need. I know that when we go to Him, we will find the strongest and most powerful love we can ever imagine.

 

 

#sharethegift #heisthegift



 

Friend.

I have been trying to think of how I want to approach this topic, as it is very emotional for me and hard to express in words.

But let me first ask this question:

What are valuable and necessary attributes for a friend?

Here is my answer:

• kind
• funny
• compassionate
• loyal
• a good hugger
• empathetic
• unconditional love

(pretty standard of everyone, I assume)

Now here is a new question, 

Are you the kind of friend who possesses these attributes? 

Here are a few words from Marvin J. Ashton,

"There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. Certainly the word friend is misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, and heartaches. When we make a man feel he is wanted, his whole attitude changes. Our friendship will be recognizable if our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence."

When I was in high school, I was never that person who could walk down the hall and every person knew who I was. I didn't value popularity or notoriety and I still don't.

I was the girl who would walk down the hall, see a random student crying in the hall, and go over to see if they were okay. I was the girl who had a handful of friends, all of which would hang out in the band room and eat lunch together. Every person who I had lunch with was someone I genuinely cared about. Many of them have taken their own path for their future and occasionally I will look them up on Facebook to make sure everything is going good. I was known as the sweet, sensitive, caring, compassionate friend who could make anyone laugh and feel better about life. 

When I first came to BYU, my freshman roommate was most definitely not that person who I thought I would become friends with. She was everything I wasn't, but 3 years later, I call her my best friend. 

She is honest, kind, compassionate, witty (literally makes me pee my pants laughing), and wonderful. She drops everything to come see me when I feel less than the dust of the Earth. She, as Elder Ashton stated, helps me improve myself. 

Now comes the hard part. 

2 weeks ago, I had a particularly hard experience occur that has changed my outlook on relationships and expectations. It has made me very emotional and exceptionally sensitive. My roommates noticed the difference and were trying their best to make it easier for me, whether it be the multiple offers of ice cream, or the late night talks that usually ended with me in tears, they tried.

And I have to give them credit for that. They tried. 

My attitude drastically changed and there was a person in my life who didn't know how to handle this change. I was moody and somber rather than peppy and outgoing. I stopped hanging out with some friends and this person asked me a question that I believe was completely inappropriate. 

"I think you have depression. Have you looked up any articles? You should probably go see someone about it. BYU has counselors, but you should call soon. They are booking up fast."

Let me be clear, I have experienced depression and I was not depressed. I do not say that this question was inappropriate because I think Depression is an insult. It is a real thing and I think more people should take it seriously (like this person).

It was inappropriate because this person told me that I needed help rather than helping me.

I needed love and time.

"No one can be a friend until he is known. A friend is a person who will really take the time not only to know us, but to be with us. One of the finest presents you can give anyone is your best self."- Marvin J Ashton

Under the circumstances, and with time, I have come to understand why this person reacted the way that they did. I have since talked with this person and shared with them my feelings and insecurities, and that I am working on improving myself. I recognized my faults and mistakes and my renewed commitment to be better. 

I was so ready to forgive and move on, only to discover that this person had talked about me to another friend, comparing the relationship we had with the relationship that this person had with the other friend. (the difference in length of the relationships is about 2 1/2 years)

This person shared with their friend the things that I had privately discussed. 

Then I was mockingly called a "Fair-Weather Friend".

My first instinct right now is to trash talk and let out all my anger on this individual. I am beyond upset and offended. 

But I am not going to because "it takes courage to be a real friend." And I don't believe trash talking this person is being a friend. 

If you don't know what a fair weather friend is, click here for an interesting article to understand what type of people they are.

For those who know me, I am so NOT that kind of person. 

I am saddened that this person feels that way about me because if they were to actually know me, they would see that I would rather help someone than tell them that they need help. I would drop everything to help them, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. 

"How can we help a friend? An Arabian proverb helps us answer: “A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” Yes, a friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am but who is willing and able to leave me better than he found me."

Marvin J Ashton

I am far from the perfect friend, but I can promise that I am not the kind of person to drop someone when I think it is inconvenient to be their friend. 

I take this experience as constructive criticism. I will be a better friend. I'm sorry to this individual that you felt like I was only your friend in happy and convenient circumstances. I will always be your friend, no matter what. I am THAT kind of person. 

I hope and pray that you don't feel like "cutting your losses" at the end of the school year, because I will always consider you one of my favorite friends. 

Now for a cheesy Pinterest quote:

xoxo

Something that should have happened a LONG time ago.

We always have that feeling- that deep pang of regret.
It always finds us. We can't run away from it.
Wanna know why?
Because we all want to be good people, better people, people who can say that they learned something and that they overcame their difficulties.

I hate regret.
I tell myself that I am not going to regret doing something, that I am going to follow through til the end. Well, here is something I should have done a long time ago.
I told myself that I would always feel a certain way, no regret.
Well, I am sitting on my couch, watching old Grey's Anatomy episodes, regretting.

To a friend that I still really love and miss a lot:
No one tells you what to say or how to act when something bad happens. You get to be in charge of your own actions. Unfair? No. Smart? Ehh.... Right? Yes.
Here is something about me you should know (well, if you really know me, then you already know this, but I will tell you anyway....):
I am a "knee jerker". An emotional reactant. Someone who has not learned the art of thinking before speaking, or in a particular case, typing. It all just comes out without any control and I HATE it.
You have no freaking idea how much I LOATHE how I react without taking any regard to the people around me and how they might be feeling. I try. Please believe me when I say that I try to not do it.
I remembered every feeling that night.

• Anger
• Passion
• Loneliness
• Hate
• Sorrow
• Confusion
• More Anger
• More Hate
• Scared
• REALLY Scared
• Pain
• Aching in every inch of my body- I couldn't even sleep that night.
• Anger
• Pride
• Emptiness

All in one night. And it didn't stop.
It continued every night.

And then I made it right. And for a moment, there was HOPE. Because someone who I thought would never forgive me, did.
My friend, I was forgiven, but still hurt by you.
I got your text and thought to myself, "Really? This is all I get? Gosh, this person really never cared about me...."
That is what I thought. And I am sitting on my couch, hating myself for not calling you the moment I got your text and telling you how sorry I was.
I am hating myself you letting you leave on your mission without telling you my favorite mission scripture. I regret not going to the temple with you before you went into the MTC. That was something I wanted to do REALLY bad.
You meant a lot to me, and you always will.
I am sorry, my friend, for allowing regret to happen. I am sorry for holding grudges and feeling prideful when all I wanted was to be loved by you as a friend, a close friend.
There is so much more I would want to talk to you about, but for right now, please know that I am sorry.
I am letting go of so much that has been inside of me.
The Savior wants to forgive.
I was forgiven of things by someone who I can call a best friend now. I felt undeserving of their love, and eternally grateful for their forgiveness.
So my friend, I speak directly to you,
I forgive you.
-EmJay

The Universe

“I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is inprobably biased toward the consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed. And who am I, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it-or my observation of it-is temporary?”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

We are, and always will be, a part of a bigger plan, a bigger idea.

And that my friends, is a joyful thought.

Testimony

"You will have all kinds of trials to pass through. And it is quite necessary for you to be tried as it was for Abraham and other men of God; and God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God." - President John Taylor

I have had many experiences this week that have pulled on my heartstrings.

It felt as though the Lord was telling me that I needed to struggle, I needed to go through hard things so I could, in a way, prove to him of my worthiness to achieve the Kingdom of God. 

He knew I could do it. He knew that I had the strength and the capability to overcome my obstacles.

But He also knew that I couldn't do it alone. 

He knew that I HAD to turn to Him and seek His power and grace. I know that I am going through hard things because He wants me to return and live with Him again.

He provided a way for me so that the pain and sorrow from my tender heartstrings wouldn't hurt as bad. He strengthened my back so that I was able to bear all that was placed on me. 

I will continue to be tried and tested. I will meet people who will make me doubt my worth and my potential. I will be confused and afraid.

But I can overcome. Through the power of the Atonement, I can do all things. 

I love this gospel more that life itself. I know my Father in Heaven loves me enough to place trials in my way to test my faith and my dependence on Him. I know I will hurt, but I also know that the happiness and joy will overcome it.

Some Inspiration for the New Year!

When we make a focus to be better, to do better, to become better, we are blessed with better experiences, friends, memories in the future. 

I was talking to my mom a little while back about how we are always worried about the past or the future and we find it hard to actually "live in the moment".  She told me something interesting about the future....

She said, "The future doesn't actually belong to us because it is based off of decisions that we are making RIGHT NOW."

We can't concern ourselves with the future, when there is no certainty in it. The only certainty we have is right now.

I have faith and hope for a future that is full of blessings and good things, but I also have to remind myself that I cannot expect things to ALWAYS happen the way that I want them to. 

This quote was posted on Facebook by a friend and I thought it to be absolutely brilliant.

“Maybe this year, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives not looking for flaws, but looking for potential.” 

My biggest goal is to look for ways to improve myself each day from the previous day. I find one thing that I didn't like and I make a change. 

I be better. I do better. I try.

I'll let you in on a secret.....

So this has been a secret, well, sort of.... I have talked about it, but while being home it has become official....

I am planning on beginning my training for a Half Marathon.

Yup.





13.1 miles.





If you have known me for a while, you know that I am most definitely not a runner, in fact, I loathe it because I am terrible at it.

So why am I going to run 13.1 miles?


Well because I want to do something for myself. I want to be able to make a goal and complete it. I am giving myself the entire next year to do it, but I would like to do it by the end of next semester.  I want to one up my brother.... ;)
He ran a half marathon, but the idea that his little sister who can barely run 3 miles is going to run 13.1 is a one up. (better go run a full marathon Matt)

I want to do this because I want to prove myself wrong all these years. I am not a bad runner, just untrained. I am capable of doing anything I want! I am not the one in my family to just watch as my siblings do fun, adventurous things.

my fears.
I'm scared that I will talk myself out of doing this.
I'm scared that I will injure myself because I have no idea what I am doing.
I'm scared of running for a long time all by myself.
I'm scared that I won't be able to do it in less than 4 hours. (like i said, i'm a bad runner)
I'm scared that my family will let me talk myself out of it and won't push me.
I'm scared that I will have to do this alone.

So now that I have those useless fears out of the way, watch out world, here comes me, a girl with a head full of dreams.

My name is Emily Jex.
I am going to run 13.1 miles in 2014.
And I am telling the entire world.

Here I come.

Real Life

Don't you ever wish your life was like a movie that always ended happily or at least with some sort of closure?

I do.


Every single day of my life.



Story time:
I came home from work/studying and decided that I needed to take a break. I was watching a tv show and my roommate wanted to know what I was so focused on my laptop. I didn't even know she was talking to me. (when your brain is as fried as mine is then you would understand)

I told her that sometimes I need fiction in my life to make me feel real.
She thought that was so profound.


I know that things that happen in books and movies are fictional and things like that don't just happen in real life. But I will say that sometimes it is nice to put yourself in a fictional place where things go perfectly, all the time.

Just go a day pretending.
Then come back to real life and appreciate everything REAL in your life.

You might actually find that you can lead a life that is everything you imagined it could be.

A Crack in the Surface

I was listening to Elder Holland's talk from this past General Conference entitled, "Like a Broken Vessel".
He talks a lot about those with mental disabilities, specifically depression. Now, I have never had depression before, but I have felt depressed at times.

While he was talking, my mind zoomed past thoughts and experiences I have been having this past week and I couldn't help but see the crack that had formed in my heart and mind. I am not broken, but I surely wasn't perfectly put together.

Elder Holland said, "Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind."

All I really wanted was someone to be there for me, being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind while I struggled to understand myself. But listening to his talk, I realized that it was still my responsibility to be that kind of person to those around me who are going through similar trials. I can't leave them alone. That is not the type of person that I am. I love people too much to let them hurt.

A Crack in the Surface
Sometimes overlooked, presuming that nothing is wrong
Just fill it in with some glue and it will be as new
But what come from a crack
Pain, anguish and hurt
No one wants to have a crack
In some ways it is worse than being broken
God is working on the cracks
He is making repairs
One day I can be as new
Oh how I want that day to come


Challenge for the week:
What can you do this week that shows someone you care about them and desire for their well being?

Day 11 and 12

These past two days have been my lowest days. But it is amazing how gratitude can make it seem so much better.

I am grateful for this gorgeous weather we have been having lately. It has lifted my spirits when I felt like all was lost. It felt good on my skin and rejuvenated the energy that had disappeared.

Day 8

Today has been one heck of a day.
Lots of good things and a lot of hard things.

Today I am grateful for all the hard things in my life. I am grateful for my difficulties, my shortcomings, my failures.

When I learn about the bad in my life, it helps me to appreciate the good.
I let go of the bad in my life. All my weaknesses, trusting in my God that He will make me stronger if I turn my will over to his.

Day 4

I didn't grow up in poverty, nor did I lead a life of luxury and money. Instead, I lived a life where practical financial decisions were made. My parents didn't splurge on trivial items that wouldn't last. Instead, the money was spent on family things, like going out to eat or going to the movies.

I remember sometimes asking my mom if I could join a sports team and her reply was to the effect that I would most likely give up and she didn't want to spend the money for me to give up.

Ya know, they say that hindsight is always 20/20. I look back and sometimes wish my mom would have let me go out for a sports team so I could understand the nature of failing and getting back up again. The 90 dollars seems so unimportant in comparison to the life lessons I could have learned.

Why is it that now, as a college student, my finances are so important to me that they affect my relationships with others?

I could say that it was because my parents said no to a lot of things that I asked for because of the money.
or
I could say that my dad told me to start saving for college at a young age. (I worked in the cafeteria in middle school and earned about 20 dollars a month- that was the start)
or
I could say that I realize that money is pertinent to living in this society.

Don't you agree?

Even if you want to go anywhere, the gas prices alone could make you bankrupt.

My brother calls me stingy.
My parents say I worry too much.
My sister thinks my education is more important.

They are all right.
But I have reason to.

I don't have any scholarships. I don't work full time. I live in a cheap housing facility and yet my bank account reads lower than my IQ. I have considered on several occasion, getting a second job, but most of the time that would require a car, which I cannot afford AT ALL.

To live is expensive.


If life were but a dream
maybe it would all seem
to go my way 
and I may never dismay

To worry is to die
for time just passes by
with my mind racing
and my body pacing

I don't want to live
where all I have to give 
is everything temporal
when I need everything spiritual

Facing the world
with my hair fancy and curled
I say, 
Okay

I will give
I will take
I will share
I will make

For what I need to do
The Lord will help me too.


Today I am grateful for my job. It has been the best thing I could have ever asked for this past year and a half. It's not the wonderful career that I am going to put on my resume, but it has taught me about life and putting aside my natural man.

Inspiring

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
Audrey Hepburn

Food, Sports, and Love

When you ask someone what their favorite food is, what is the typical response? 

- chinese

- pizza

- mac and cheese

well, I was to be asked at this very moment my favorite food, it would have the be the sweet potato fries and fry sauce at Gurus. 

it's like eating strips of glorious happiness dipped in the heavenly balm of awesomeness.

that made no sense, but just trust me, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

On Friday, I took my sister to lunch and we went to Gurus. She had talked about how her and Sean love their sweet potato fries more than anything else. So what do I order? Sweet Potato Fries. plus our meals, but mostly I was there for the fries. 

conclusion: Best 2.99 I have ever spent.

But this whole week hasn't been the best eating wise. I bought a box of easy mac packets and have been eating those all week. Then Gurus, then I had some banana bread that my friend made.... like a lot of it. And then IHOP at 12am..... super healthy. no regrets.

My friends who made me banana bread invited me to go to the homecoming football game with them tonight and I wanted to, but I didn't have a pass. But my friend who went with me to IHOP at 12 am gave me hers and so I went and it was some of the most fun that I have had in a long time. I LOVE FOOTBALL! And BYU. :) 

I was raised by my dad, who loves sports to an extent that I don't think I will ever fully comprehend. He knows so much and has this intuition about certain players and techniques. I watched sports with him and I struggled to understand football at first. Basketball was my first love, then Baseball, and now Football. I remember texting my dad about the LA Dodgers and talking about real sports stuff. It helped me really connect with my dad and that is something that I will ALWAYS love about our relationship. 

The game was really good tonight. Taysom Hill didn't do too bad and our defense was working super hard.  There were some crazy good plays and then some stupid calls, but I loved being there, shouting for my cougs and most of all, being there with a really good friend.

Our friendship has blossomed so much and I love Allie a lot. She is so down to Earth and I feel like I can truly relate to her on so many levels. I appreciate her and all she is.

Some of my other relationships have not been going so hot though.....

Boys. 

they should have their own universe and communicate in their own language. 

seriously.

I just don't get it. 

I took this boy to General Conference and I was interested to an extent, but I didn't know him all that well. So I asked him to come so I could get to know him better. To my dismay, the conversation was not there between us and he seemed to not even be interested in talking to me at all. 

I was really frustrated because he was very enthusiastic to talk to my friend's brother who I invited to come too. I felt like I wasn't even there to him. 

I felt really sad and mad that it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but that is my fault. 

He wasn't the nice guy to me that I thought he was or that he would be.

But here's the hardest part of all. 

My friend Allie and her roommate Peri are my best buds here in the ward. They are my go to girls and I like 'em, a lot.  Well, one day we were planning a hangout session at Dairy Queen and I go to my apt to get my shoes. While I am gone, this guy comes to their apt to ask Peri out. 

For some odd reason, it bugged me a lot. And then he invited her to go to the Football game with him. I felt bad because I wanted to hang out with Peri, but I couldn't bring myself to be around this guy. 

It isn't that big of a deal, but for some reason it is really getting to me and I don't like it. 

This quote given by Thomas S. Monson during the Relief Society session has really lifted my spirits about this sort of thing.

this has really comforted me because whenever I think about this guy and how bad I felt when being around him, I remember that there was someone with me that was still loving me and supporting me.  He will be forever and that it really nice to think about.

A quote that changed my life

“Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.” 

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Sometimes I think we can forget that the Atonement is more than just being able to be clean again.  It can give us strength to overcome the scariest of trials. His grace is sufficient.  We can become the people He needs us to be, but only if we give Him our self. Our imperfect self. 

I have experienced this firsthand. I can't deal with everything on my own. If I do, then I will fall. 

There was a song that we played in Nauvoo called "Pennsylvania 65000". The French Horn section had this big soli part that was very difficult to master. I spent 2 hours on this section with no improvement. I felt so discouraged. I thought to myself, "I know how to play this instrument. I know what this part is supposed to sound like. Why can't I just put it together??? Why?" We went to dinner that night and when we came back for evening rehearsal I said a prayer. I told my Heavenly Father that I have done all that I can do. I feel so discouraged. Please help me. Take it from me and help me. I reread that entry in my journal. I read how that evening rehearsal was one of the best rehearsals I have had. Pennsylvania 65000 was one of my favorite songs by the time I left. 

Something as simple as not being able to play a part in a song, He took care of it.

 

Success

Success. 

A term that is defined and measured differently for everyone.

My success:

Graduating college

Marriage

Children

Home filled with love and gospel principles

A strong relationship with my Savior

When I have the Lord on my side in all that I do, nothing can stop me.  I WILL win every time. I am not perfect and will mess up many times, but with the love of my Savior surrounding me, I can do ANYTHING!

Let it be me.

"There may come a time
A time in everyone’s life
Where nothing seems to go your way
Where nothing seems to turn out right

There may come a time
You just can't seem to find your way
For every door you walk on to
Seems like they get slammed in your face

That’s when you need someone
Someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me

Feels like your always comin’ on home
Pockets full of nothin’ and you got no cash
No matter where you turn, you ain’t got no place to stand
Reach out for something and they slap your hand

Now I remember all too well
Just how it feels to be all alone
You feel like you’d give anything
For just a little place you can call your own

That’s when you need someone
Someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me

Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me"

Let GO
Let EVERYTHING just be.
Let.
It. 
Be. 
Me.

thanks Ray LaMontagne.... again.

nothing to worry 'bout.

so true.

so stop worrying.

More than just candy and flowers...

A story told by Gordon B. Hinckley,


"When I was a little boy, we children traded paper hearts at school on Valentine’s Day. At night we dropped them at the doors of our friends, stamping on the porch and then running in the dark to hide.

Almost without exception those valentines had printed on their face, “I love you.” I have since come to know that love is more than a paper heart. Love is of the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is more than the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arches across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, church, and neighbors.

I am one who believes that love, like faith, is a gift of God. I agree with the expression, “Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed and teased.”"

To quote one of the most amazing movies in history, "to love another is to see the face of God".

Love is a great thing.
I love that we have a holiday that celebrates love.
I know that through love, anything can happen because with love comes trust and understand and faith.

Be Better

I had a friend in high school that always told me I took things too seriously.  I never understood certain jokes or sarcasm.  Sometimes I feel like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory..... 

I can take things personally and get offended easily. It isn't good and I know I need to do better.  But I love this quote because it isn't about the person or the things that transpired, but it's about the take-away- the things I learn.

Lately, I have been always on the phone with my mom telling her about everything that is happening to me including all the drama that I create for myself.  It is hard for my mom to always hear about the bad things.  I don't want that sort if relationship with my mom.  

On Sunday, she told me that most of the stuff I wanted advice for were things I already knew.  These experiences teach me everything I need to know.  I just need to remember them.

So my goal is to write down the things I learn.  

Especially with my mission to Nauvoo, I need to remember how to be better and how to be teachable in circumstances that may seem so out of control and hurtful.

I love learning new things and I really want to be better.