Quit it. Stop it. Enough is Enough!

I have been trying to come up with a gentle approach to it, but I don't think this deserves to be treated gently. It needs ACTION.


What is up with being mean? I mean, c'mon- WHAT. IS. UP.

We were all told the Golden Rule growing up:

Treat others how you want to be treated.

GOLD- it has value.


So why will we DEMAND kindness and respect and fairness when we don't give those to others?
Honestly.
GROW UP!

With social media at our fingertips, we will use every occasion to passively express our disdain and displeasure with people and situations.

You don't like your roommate?
- well you kind of live with them, so you have to LIVE WITH IT.

You don't like your ward?
- well, they love you so, you look like the idiot.

You don't like your job, or the people you work with?
- well do you want to keep your job? yes? then deal with it and suck it up.

I think that people who put their feelings on social media about people that are not positive are the ones with the issue.

I will own up to this right now:

Have I ever tweeted about someone I don't like?

Yes.

Do I regret it?

Yes.

(the tweet has since been deleted and forgotten because I understood how FOOLISH it is)

We are all human. We ALL make mistakes. 

YES. I MAKE MISTAKES. BIG FAT JUICY ONES.

Do I want to be criticized on social media because I wasn't up to par of someone's expectations of me?

No. I don't and I don't think ANYONE wants to. 

So why do we keep doing it?

Why do we feel the need to tear someone down- to make them feel less powerful- or good- or decent because they fail to be the person we think they should be?

At work, I was given a position of leadership wherein I have certain obligations and expectations. I fall short so many times, but I try SO HARD to be the best I can be. 

And yet, I am met with passive hostility through social media because I am not the cool person who will engage in gossip and dishonesty. 

I'm not sorry for that. I am sorry for the people who say I should be that way. 

To quote a wonderful writer on my favorite website:

"Take your yucky attitude and your negative opinions and your world reknown talent for lying elsewhere because it’s time to for the nice girls to call you out. No more bullying. No more behind the back name calling. And for certain, no more trying to pull us happy people down.  You can’t affect us anymore, I have an imaginary force fold around me that I bought at Rite Aid.  So there. And it was on special. Double win. So, go ahead say what you want. Do what you want, I won’t even blink. Because we have the power to not give the mean people power. If we train on brain to disregard the negative, soon enough it doesn’t exist. It’s like magic, but without the black candles and the Ouija board. If you need me,  I will be here standing my ground, being creative and persevering while you peer from the other end of the street otherwise known as mean girl yucky lonely-ville. (Or insert stronger insult here.) Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to stuff myself with Reese’s Pieces because I’ve earned. Chubby thighs, here I come."

-JC Coccoli-

I have been that person that has been through the ringer when it comes to MEAN PEOPLE. But I look at myself in the mirror in the morning and say, "you can do this. the things they say are just words that bounce off you like a trampoline. you are worth more than the negative comments that ANYBODY says." And I'm okay. When I have to deal with those awful, yucky people, I have a HARD time and it hurts, but I will come out alive and grateful that I am who I am. 

I want people to know that I love them. That EVERYONE deserves love and kindness and hope for a better future. If I have ever been mean to anyone, I have gone through my sorrow and searched for the forgiveness that only the Atonement can bring. 

"We can so clearly and easily see the harmful results that come when others judge and hold grudges. And we certainly don’t like it when people judge us.

But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt.

The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Romans, said that those who pass judgment on others are “inexcusable.” The moment we judge someone else, he explained, we condemn ourselves, for none is without sin. Refusing to forgive is a grievous sin—one the Savior warned against. Jesus’s own disciples had “sought occasion against [each other] and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.”"
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf


I wish we could see ourselves in those moments of weakness, when we feel it "necessary" to speak poorly of another, and STOP IT.

Gossiping is a form of bullying and it is NOT okay.
Please stop.

I am an imperfect human being with many flaws who will ALWAYS fall short. But I ask that you don't judge me because I sin differently than you. Give the benefit of the doubt that we are all trying to do our best and that people are not intending to hurt or maliciously tear another down.


Stay away from social media when you are feeling particularly hateful. It will not help. It doesn't matter how many people favorite your tweet or like a post/picture, you are tearing another down and it isn't okay.


Ponder on this quote from CS Lewis:

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which,if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship... All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.”

I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Click the websites below to see more people who feel similarly to me.

Humor
Inspirational
Monica Lewinsky

Testimony

"You will have all kinds of trials to pass through. And it is quite necessary for you to be tried as it was for Abraham and other men of God; and God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God." - President John Taylor

I have had many experiences this week that have pulled on my heartstrings.

It felt as though the Lord was telling me that I needed to struggle, I needed to go through hard things so I could, in a way, prove to him of my worthiness to achieve the Kingdom of God. 

He knew I could do it. He knew that I had the strength and the capability to overcome my obstacles.

But He also knew that I couldn't do it alone. 

He knew that I HAD to turn to Him and seek His power and grace. I know that I am going through hard things because He wants me to return and live with Him again.

He provided a way for me so that the pain and sorrow from my tender heartstrings wouldn't hurt as bad. He strengthened my back so that I was able to bear all that was placed on me. 

I will continue to be tried and tested. I will meet people who will make me doubt my worth and my potential. I will be confused and afraid.

But I can overcome. Through the power of the Atonement, I can do all things. 

I love this gospel more that life itself. I know my Father in Heaven loves me enough to place trials in my way to test my faith and my dependence on Him. I know I will hurt, but I also know that the happiness and joy will overcome it.

Some Inspiration for the New Year!

When we make a focus to be better, to do better, to become better, we are blessed with better experiences, friends, memories in the future. 

I was talking to my mom a little while back about how we are always worried about the past or the future and we find it hard to actually "live in the moment".  She told me something interesting about the future....

She said, "The future doesn't actually belong to us because it is based off of decisions that we are making RIGHT NOW."

We can't concern ourselves with the future, when there is no certainty in it. The only certainty we have is right now.

I have faith and hope for a future that is full of blessings and good things, but I also have to remind myself that I cannot expect things to ALWAYS happen the way that I want them to. 

This quote was posted on Facebook by a friend and I thought it to be absolutely brilliant.

“Maybe this year, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives not looking for flaws, but looking for potential.” 

My biggest goal is to look for ways to improve myself each day from the previous day. I find one thing that I didn't like and I make a change. 

I be better. I do better. I try.

A quote that changed my life

“Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.” 

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Sometimes I think we can forget that the Atonement is more than just being able to be clean again.  It can give us strength to overcome the scariest of trials. His grace is sufficient.  We can become the people He needs us to be, but only if we give Him our self. Our imperfect self. 

I have experienced this firsthand. I can't deal with everything on my own. If I do, then I will fall. 

There was a song that we played in Nauvoo called "Pennsylvania 65000". The French Horn section had this big soli part that was very difficult to master. I spent 2 hours on this section with no improvement. I felt so discouraged. I thought to myself, "I know how to play this instrument. I know what this part is supposed to sound like. Why can't I just put it together??? Why?" We went to dinner that night and when we came back for evening rehearsal I said a prayer. I told my Heavenly Father that I have done all that I can do. I feel so discouraged. Please help me. Take it from me and help me. I reread that entry in my journal. I read how that evening rehearsal was one of the best rehearsals I have had. Pennsylvania 65000 was one of my favorite songs by the time I left. 

Something as simple as not being able to play a part in a song, He took care of it.

 

I think I've said this before....

I truly believe my mom is inspired every day to think about something and share it with me, on her blog, with her friends, etc... She searches for ways to increase her knowledge of spiritual things.  She finds quotes and talks that uplift and help guide the mind to think more about Christ and less about oneself.

She blogged a couple weeks ago with this quote and for some reason it hit me so hard.

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which . . . you would be strongly tempted to worship. . . . There are no ordinary people." C.S. Lewis

We know that we are spiritual brothers and sisters.  We know that God created us in His own image and gave us unique and special gifts that help us become the people we are meant to be.  We know that we will become gods and goddesses.  But when you look at someone, do you think, wow, they are going to be a great ruler in this next life?

I know I haven't.  I look more on the style they have or the color of their eyes.  Sometimes I like what I see, but sometimes, I have criticisms.

Reading this quote, I want to go and tell everyone I see just how amazing they are.  They deserve to know how brilliant they are and can become.

I want to be told that. I want someone to come up to me and tell me that I am going to be an amazing goddess.

Every one is different, but everyone has something to offer.