Day 14

Oh what a day.

I have felt like this week has gone by so slow. As my sister so comedically said, quoting a very good movie, "to drudge the long and deary road".

But I am still grateful.


Today I am grateful for my statistics class.

Whoa. I never thought I would say this.




of all things to be grateful for, I am grateful for stats?





No, not just the class, but what it has done to me.
It has thrown me under a large school bus several times, then rescued me and then thrown me under once more. But is has trained me to really work hard and value all the work that I have been putting into the class.

I am grateful for the emotional turmoil it has put me through, but I pray that it will be kind to me in these last few weeks.


Oh stats.
is it even a math subject?

Day 7

Today I am grateful for Brigham Young University.

My classes.
My teachers.
The Honor Code.
The clubs.
The faculty.
All the free stuff.
The environment.
The strong testimony of the school.
Being around people who believe the same that I do.

I really couldn't imagine a better place to go to school.

I am surrounded by some of the most brilliant, beautiful, smart, funny people in the entire world.

Day 4

I didn't grow up in poverty, nor did I lead a life of luxury and money. Instead, I lived a life where practical financial decisions were made. My parents didn't splurge on trivial items that wouldn't last. Instead, the money was spent on family things, like going out to eat or going to the movies.

I remember sometimes asking my mom if I could join a sports team and her reply was to the effect that I would most likely give up and she didn't want to spend the money for me to give up.

Ya know, they say that hindsight is always 20/20. I look back and sometimes wish my mom would have let me go out for a sports team so I could understand the nature of failing and getting back up again. The 90 dollars seems so unimportant in comparison to the life lessons I could have learned.

Why is it that now, as a college student, my finances are so important to me that they affect my relationships with others?

I could say that it was because my parents said no to a lot of things that I asked for because of the money.
or
I could say that my dad told me to start saving for college at a young age. (I worked in the cafeteria in middle school and earned about 20 dollars a month- that was the start)
or
I could say that I realize that money is pertinent to living in this society.

Don't you agree?

Even if you want to go anywhere, the gas prices alone could make you bankrupt.

My brother calls me stingy.
My parents say I worry too much.
My sister thinks my education is more important.

They are all right.
But I have reason to.

I don't have any scholarships. I don't work full time. I live in a cheap housing facility and yet my bank account reads lower than my IQ. I have considered on several occasion, getting a second job, but most of the time that would require a car, which I cannot afford AT ALL.

To live is expensive.


If life were but a dream
maybe it would all seem
to go my way 
and I may never dismay

To worry is to die
for time just passes by
with my mind racing
and my body pacing

I don't want to live
where all I have to give 
is everything temporal
when I need everything spiritual

Facing the world
with my hair fancy and curled
I say, 
Okay

I will give
I will take
I will share
I will make

For what I need to do
The Lord will help me too.


Today I am grateful for my job. It has been the best thing I could have ever asked for this past year and a half. It's not the wonderful career that I am going to put on my resume, but it has taught me about life and putting aside my natural man.

SPIRIT

Ok I have been a serious slacker with blogging.....
probably will stay that way until midterms are over.....

On Tuesday, I was asked to speak in church the upcoming Sunday. I was so excited because I love giving talks, I just don't like writing them. I will admit that most of my talks throughout my youth were written by my mother, with a few contributions here and there. When I got to college, I was so scared to give a talk because I knew I wanted to write one all by myself, but I wanted my mom to look over it and help me. I needed her to help me because I wasn't confident with my own testimony and ability.

So tomorrow I give my talk, and I can say to you that it was written by me and only me.
I feel proud to say that.

I am nervous because I want people to listen to me and the time and effort I put into the talk.
But if I trust in the Spirit, I know that those who need to hear the things I have prepared will truly listen.

It is amazing how the Spirit works. Those who are ready and prepared to receive revelation and inspiration WILL receive it.

My mission taught me the importance of being worthy of the Spirit at ALL TIMES. Why?
You never know when there is someone that you need to talk to, or service that needs to be provided to someone in need, or a warning that you need to pay attention to. When you are worthy of the Spirit, you know that you will receive the revelation to act and to help. When you don't, then you miss out on opportunities and blessings that could help you grow closer to our Heavenly Father.

I always want to be worthy of the Spirit. He comforts, protects, and strengthens me and those around me.

I know that the Spirit is a part of the Godhead. A being with united purpose with our Father in Heaven and His son, Jesus Christ.

When it feels like all hope is lost...

Some days are harder than others.

I guess that is just life. I want to have every day be wonderful, full of optimism and hope, but the world around us is all about negativity and failure. Even at BYU, we are still connected to the world.

Today was just plain ugly.

1. I broke a mug at work. It didn't belong to me and it was my fault that I broke it. I felt so terrible that I broke something that belonged to someone else and had no idea who they were so I could make it right. 
2. I am not doing so great at these stat quizzes anymore. And I don't know why. 
3. I find it hard to write a 600 word paper. (probably because I haven't had to write a paper in a long time)
4. My friend stole my paper topic. And ya, it doesn't matter because there are probably people who chose my topic too, but just the idea that I told her my topic, then she went and wrote her paper on the same person.
5. My apartment reminds me of a pigsty. Tons of flies swarm the leftover food sitting in dishes.

So how to counter all this negativity and pessimism?


To quote a favorite movie of mine, We Bought A Zoo,  "Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage -- 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery and I promise you something great will come of it."


So that is what I made of my day. 20 seconds of insane courage, a forever of waiting, and a successful ending.

1st Day of School

One of my earliest memories of the first day of school was when I was in 1st grade. We had moved to New Jersey and this was my second school for 1st grade. I didn't know anyone and I felt super strange....

I remember 4 tables put together and all 3 girls at my table had dark hair and brown eyes. One girl, named Nina, was super mean and I didn't like her at all!

My next recollection of my first day of school was in 3rd grade. We had just moved to California from New Jersey and my mom dropped me off.  All the kids were waiting underneath this pavilion until the security guard told them that they could go. I saw a girl I met a church and to my dismay, we had the SAME EXACT SHOES. Now if you know anything about the first day of school, it's always about the outfit. ALWAYS. don't let anyone tell you any different.

Then zooming past all the years, I now sit in the Joseph Smith building on BYU campus on my first day of school. I may have said that it was all about the outfits.... well I am wearing a worn out pair of converse, rolled up jeans and a girly blouse. No makeup and bed hair. Wow, I live up to my comments, don't I?

Well, I start my classes at 10 which is in 50 mins. I can't wait to get back in the swing of things.
I don't think I can convey the dedication that I want to give my academics this semester.
I want to be accountable for my goals so maybe you guys can help me if I write them on my blog!

Goal 1: Quit watching Hulu. Done with all the TV shows. (except for the weekends)
Goal 2: Don't go home for lunch. Pack a lunch the night before and eat in a building on campus.
Goal 3: STUDY STUDY STUDY in the library. NOT at home.
Goal 4: Go to the temple at LEAST once a week.
Goal 5: Plasma. A MUST.
Goal 6: Go to bed at 9 pm.
Goal 7: Have Fun.
Goal 8: Read my scriptures and Pray all day long.
Goal 9: Smile and say hello to people I see on campus.
Goal 10: Keep my mission with me ALWAYS.

Maybe you guys could help me. Keep me accountable. I want to do my best and I want to stay focused.

Thanks for all you guys do. I love posting on my blog and you guys make it worth it!

A week.

So it has been a week.
A week since I left Nauvoo
A week since I entered Idaho
A week since I was released
A week since came back to reality.

Wow.

My mom asked me today what I missed most about Nauvoo. Was it the place? the people? the costume?(heavens no) the music?

Everything. Everything about Nauvoo. The whole ambiance. (except the costume.... most definitely not the costume!)

Lately I have been trying to keep up with some of my friends in Nauvoo, but I have to remember that they have families too! They are in homes that they have grown up in, with friends that have known almost their entire life. I just moved to a new home in good ole' Idaho. I don't know anyone. I am at least 5 hours away from anyone I know. It's hard.
But enough with the pitying.....

Being home, I have been able to spend so much time with my mom and dad. helping them move into their new home and exploring the farm country that surrounds us.
(seriously, we were stuck behind this big vehicle today- on a main road!)

Is this for real?







I have loved the experiences I have had.
In a week I will be back in Provo headed to school.
I can't wait to get back to business and work my butt off getting those rockin' grades!

Here's where most of my motivation is coming from.

Optimism in ALL things.

Here is just a peak at the summer I had.

 aw... look at these silly elders :)

 ummmm. ya. that's a sunset- brilliant huh?

 the woman who changed my life

 those super fun packed lunches from the Myers

 Meeting the actor who played Joseph Smith in the Nauvoo Pageant

 shaking Dallin H. Oaks' hand 4 times

 this place. so beautiful

 super fun teamsters

 bike rides through old Nauvoo

 my Mission President and his wife!

 spinning- but not the costume- bleh

 random dental hygiene parties

 wagon- everyday

 working with these talented stage performers

 flowers as big as my head!

look at that view! never gets old

These experiences.... will last forever. How can you not look at them and just fall in love?

I left my heart in Old Nauvoo!

Coming to an End

So this is the official last week of school.... well finals week.
Then it's all done.
No more school.
or tests.
or apartment living.
or waking up at 3:50am.

It's all done.

I haven't really had a moment where I thought "Oh wow, I am going to miss all of this...."

But it will be bittersweet.
A farewell and good wishes to everyone I have met here at BYU my first year.

So as tribute to all the love in our apartment, we had our pictures taken, by none other than the wonderful Alissa.

Some will not be shown due to embarassing-ness or just plain awkward....

dude. I have never been able to take a jumping picture ever.... and I am pretty sure I beasted this one.

check out the booty on that blondie..... oh wait that's me.... ;)

This is one of my favorite people ever. I love her to death and am so grateful for her friendship!

This was the most painful picture ever!!! But oh so worth it.

I don't think I would be the person I am right now if it wasn't for these wonderful girls. I will miss them, but they have wonderful opportunities ahead of them.

PS don't forget I now have 11 days til I leave!!!!! AH!

Almost there....

My day today.

3:40am Wake Up for work

8:00am go back to the apt and work on:

• Newspaper Project for Geography
• Extra Credit Assignment for Geography
• Essay for Living Prophets
• Read 8 general conference talks
• Print everything

10:00 am Go to Living Prophets class

11:00 am Go to Geography Class

12:00 come home and work on ABC story

1-1:30 ASL lab

1:30 get ABC story printed

2:00 Practice for Recital tonight

2:30 make copies for pianist

3:00 practice with accompianist

4:00 go to ASL class

5:00 eat dinner

5:15 practice for recital

6:00 sit down

6:15 go to HFAC for recital

8:00pm Come home and sleep.

I don't even want to know what tomorrow looks like.
At least it is almost over.
It's been great, but lesbi-honest...... (heh. movie quote)

On the bright side, 18 DAYS! I am in the TEENS!!!

Growing up

For my ASL class, we have to choose one children's story and sign the characters and summary.

I may have procrastinated this project til today.... and it is kinda due tomorrow...... BUT HEY! YOLO!
No worries, tho, I got it done. :)

But I want to tell you about the story I chose.....
Can you guess which one I picked?
Well, lemme give you a few hints....
1) traditional as traditional can be
2)book and movie form
3) best friends
4) cartoon
5) it involves talking animals
any guesses??? (I think I may have described every childhood story there is out there)
6)"silly old bear"

YUP. That's right folks.

WINNIE THE POOH!

This is my favorite. OF ALL TIMES!

I grew up watching every movie,story, book, tv show, etc imaginable. 

I still watch the movies. seriously.

So first, I had to find which of the MANY stories to pick. It was easy. 

"Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin"

Just signing the summary I wanted to watch the movie! So, I find a link to the movie and watch it. And I remember the songs, the words, the silliness, how much I LOVE piglet. 

He is my FAVORITE! (actually I thought he was a girl when I was little)

I guess I will never grow up..... I wasn't really planning on it anyway ;)

In the wise words of Christopher Robin

"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

Christmas in Horne 54

Merry Christmas 

We did breakfast and stockings!!

Tay had Rachel

Rachel had Camille

Bronte had Taylor

I had Kendra

Kendra had Bronte

Camille had me

And this was the favorite Christmas song was 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfH_rfEe-F0