Been a while... Welcome back!

It's been a while my friends, but I am back and ready for a new adventure of life and happiness.

I have been through A LOT this summer.
There have been things that have tested the limits of my ability to forgive and forget.
I have learned that everyone deserves to be loved and cared for, no matter what they have done or what they believe. Everyone deserves to be forgiven and loved.
And that is my goal for the year. To show people that no matter their circumstance, no matter how far they feel they have fallen off the edge, they are still here, still deserving of every ounce of love and compassion that is out there.



Everyone has been through things that have changed their perspective, life, and hearts.I have been through the hardest test of life and still struggle with it DAILY. It never leaves me. But I chose to push through it and let the warm sun radiate my spirit because I can't let the gray clouds of doubt and fear seep in.
If they do, I am afraid that I will go back to who I was.
So, I will be happy. I will chose joy and smiles over sorrows and pity.
I will help others be happy and want to choose joy over their sorrows. I don't want anyone to feel the pain and sorrow that comes from mistakes and a PAST.

Thanks to a special friend of mine, this is what my answer has been to many of my questions.

Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen. (Alma 26:37)

In Sister Byers words, "it doesn't matter where we are physically, spiritually, or emotionally- no place is too far to not feel his love."

In Jeffrey R Holland's words, "the thought I heard many years ago that surely the thing God enjoys most about being God is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it."

I want to be more like the Savior and be merciful and show compassion because everyone deserves that. Because that is what I deserve.

I love my God. I love my faith. I love the mercy that comes from a Savior who knows EXACTLY what I am going through, each and every day.

Thoughts from this past General Conference/ Women's Conference

It is amazing to me to think that my spirit does not belong to this mortal world. Instead, it belongs to a Eternal being, preparing me to rule my own world one day.

He is our Father in Heaven. He wants us to depend on Him as we do our own mortal fathers. As we seek advice from the men who raised us, we should also be seeking His advice. And to those who have grown up with an absent father, I testify to you right now that HE is there. HE is ready for you to come to HIM. HE loves you more than you could ever imagine.

Has there ever been a time when you had no idea how things were going to turn out? You didn't know where the heck you were going in life?
I have.
I am feeling it right now.
But it is comforting for me to realize and understand that He knows everything. Unlimited knowledge. And He asks of me to be obedient and He will guide me along.
Why would I ever doubt that He would direct my paths if He knows EVERYTHING?
I don't know, but I know that when we are obedient, we are BLESSED beyond compare.

No Matter What.

Those are the words that keep me saying "Thank You" for everything that I have.

When you hurt, it is so easy to hurt others. 

Why?

You don't want to be the only one hurting. 

But here is a secret: Everyone is hurting in their own way. Never hurt someone more than they already hurt just because you are feeling wounded.

Forgive and Forget.

When we have a strong and personal testimony of the Atonement, we are less inclined to do wrong.

Why?

I believe that when we are true to the Savior and knowledgeable about what He has done for us, how much he suffered, we are more aware of the decisions we make. Every time we sin, He hurts. The thing is, is that He already suffered for us, but it doesn't mean we can sin all the time and get forgiveness tomorrow. We have the gift of agency. We choose our destiny. When we can understand that the Savior loves us so much that He suffered for us, our desire to do wrong decreases. I truly believe that to be true. 

Be worthy.

Be willing.

Be desirous.

And He will take care of you.

Have you ever had a friend that always seems like the happiest person in the entire world? Like they have no problems and everything is perfect for them?
I have.
Sometimes I have been accused of being that person.
But do you remember that happiness is a choice?
Even when it feels like your world is falling apart in front of your eyes, there is light. It is the Savior. He brings hope and love. When you can accept Him and his love and hope, it doesn't matter how disastrous the situation may be, He takes care of you and you can't help but feel HAPPY.
I know with every fiber of my being that He cares. And He can make you more happy than you ever though imaginable.

My last and one of my favorites.
Be you in every situation. Don't let Satan tear you away from who you truly are.
Even when you are the happiest person in the world, depend on the Lord as if you are in the darkest of times. He can keep your spirits high and happy.



#ldsconf

A new Job, Temperature, and Focus

Today is December 4th, 2013.

I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that it is going to be 2014 in less than 30 days.
So many changes have been happening and are going to happen.


I just started a new job. I literally have no idea what I am doing. I think it will be a challenge for me to understand what I have to do. The people seem nice and willing to work with me and help me out, but I know how it can sometimes be a pain in the butt to train a newbie. You have to make sure they know and understand what they are doing before you can go back to what you do. It can be annoying. It can be frustrating. It takes a crapload of patience. I get it. And I hate it. I hate being the newbie. I hate not knowing anything. I hate when they explain something to me and I have NO IDEA what they just said.
But I am unbelievably, eternally grateful for this opportunity. This job provides me with something that I have needed for a very long time.

"Don't be afraid of not knowing."

I cannot begin to describe to you how many people have posted about the snow and the cold and how they either hate it or they love it, or maybe even both. It is so annoying, but yet here I am posting about how I dislike the snow and the cold, but in some what I love it as well.

I had to walk to plasma on Tuesday when the snow first began, and it seemed as though it would never stop. I thought I would go run, so I wore workout clothes, but to my extreme dislike, the snow was slippery and icy and if I ran, I would have fallen dozen of times. I was covered in snow when I got to the center and tried to warm up, but tennis shoes are made to have holes in them and my feet never seemed to regain their feeling. But nonetheless, I braved the storm, knowing that I would get home soon.

That sounded so deep and applicable to more than just that moment.

We brave the storms everyday, whether they be addiction, depression, distractions, weaknesses, or even anger, we have to trust in the knowledge that we will get home soon, that "this too shall pass".

One thing that I have realized over and over again is the fact that I have to keep my eyes focused.
I need to remember that I am loved and cared for by so many.
I need to remember that I am blessed beyond compare.
I need to remember that if I do these things then I will be strengthened and blessed to be able to do more that I thought I could.

Day 24

Today I am grateful for pinterest.

In this past week I have made about 5 different pinterest dishes all of which have been PERFECT! (well one is in the oven right now....) I am so proud of myself for trying new things and rediscovering my love for cooking and baking.

When I was in elementary school, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a chef. I wanted to cook flamboyant things and have my own cooking tv show. All I ever watched on tv was cooking shows.

But it was hard cooking at my age. I was still young that my mom didn't want to trust me in the kitchen. But I always remembered asking to help make dinner or food, and all I can recall is my mom telling me no. I understand, I mean I was 10 wanting to make the turkey for thanksgiving.

I didn't have enough experience. But I look back now and think, the only way to gain experience is to try and fail and try again. I love to cook.

Right now there is a brown sugar cake in the oven with a brown sugar buttery sauce on the stove. My hopes are high and I believe it will turn out GREAT!

Cross your fingers.

Any maybe keep an eye out on the cooking channel for me. ;)

Day 8

Today has been one heck of a day.
Lots of good things and a lot of hard things.

Today I am grateful for all the hard things in my life. I am grateful for my difficulties, my shortcomings, my failures.

When I learn about the bad in my life, it helps me to appreciate the good.
I let go of the bad in my life. All my weaknesses, trusting in my God that He will make me stronger if I turn my will over to his.

Guilty Pleasure

have you ever gone on Pinterest?
have you ever looked at their food board?
Oh heavens!

I am not even hungry and my mouth is watering with this intense desire for food.

I mean c'mon, this stuff looks GOOD!

But whenever I am looking at food, there is always one item that stands out among the rest. It's my Guilty Pleasure. Any way you make this food it ALWAYS looks good.

Can I have any guesses as to what it might be?

any takers?


well if any of you really know me, you know that there is a cookie that soars above all the rest.

my friends.... introducing.....



DRUM ROLL!
(imagine one in your head)








OREO.

I know. right. I am so right! This is the best thing you have ever seen!



I went to Target with my friend last night. She had to stock up on food and for some reason, the only thing I saw was packages of Oreos. Something was wrong in my brain.

But anyway. That has been my craving for this week so I thought it appropriate to blog about it.

Choose for yourself what cookie ye shall desire, but for me and myself I shall eat Oreos.

ALL DAY. EVERY DAY!

Feel Good.

So if you know me, you know that I am the sweats, sweatshirt, chucks, and top knot sort of girl.

Every now and then I will pull an all natural hair day or maybe even straightening. But I ONLY curl my hair on special occasions.

Well, yesterday was a day to remember.

I went to work in my pj's (like always....) came home and decided to actually look decent.  I just wanted to feel good about myself. So, I pulled out a skirt from my summer clothes out of my bed, put on a cute cardigan and curled my hair. Not just little curls, but full RINGLETS.

Not trying to be narcissistic or anything, but I looked GOOD. Whew! HAWT! :)

And then to top it all off, one of the most attractive people in my ward passed me, twice, and smiled and said  Hi! It may be nothing big, but for someone who wants to feel good, that sure made me feel good.

nothing to worry 'bout.

so true.

so stop worrying.