Trust the Gift

day 10

 

 

 

We have all heard before that we need to be patient, and things will all work out. Trust in the Lord's timing and things will happen when they need to happen.

I testify that when we trust in the Lord's plan for us, we will find the greatest happiness.

Waiting is hard and sometimes unfair (see previous post regarding "unfair") but the Lord has the most wonderful blessings waiting for us if we can hold out a little longer.




#sharethegift #heisthegift #sharegoodness

needing Faith

This week has been terribly difficult... Being home and searching for work has really proven more difficult than I had originally anticipated. Why is it so hard to get a job at a clothing retail store? Why can't they just realize that I am a hard worker and would be great anywhere....
WHY?

I hate that word.
A lot.
Why?


There is no faith, no hope or trust is that word and it only brings heartache.

Why is this happening to me?
Why can't I be more like her?
Why would he not want to be with me?
Why....Why....Why....

Faith #4
Learn more about the sacrament. Read about the Last Supper in Matthew 26:26–28; Mark 14:22–24; and Luke 22:17–20. Establish a pattern of pondering during the sacrament by listening carefully to the sacrament hymn and prayers. Think about why we partake of the bread and water. After three weeks of following this pattern, write in your journal some of the promises you make as you partake of the sacrament and remember your baptismal covenants and what you do to keep those promises. Record in your journal how your understanding of these promises has strengthened your faith in the Savior.


I had an experience a couple nights ago when I was feeling particularly low and hopeless because I couldn't seem to find a job. I was saying my prayers and the Sacrament prayer came into my mind,
"always remember Him and keep His commandments which He has given them; that they may always have His spirit to be with them."
If I want to be led in the right direction this summer while I am home, then I need to do exactly that:

• always remember Him
• keep His commandments

Then, I will have His spirit to be with me always.

What a beautiful and hopeful promise. There are no "why's" and doubtful mindsets.
I pray continually that He will lead me in the right direction. I ask why, but then I remember that He already has it all planned and He is waiting for me to trust in that plan and give Him the reins to my life. I know that as I turn it over to Him, He will lead me to greater opportunities of happiness.

A new Job, Temperature, and Focus

Today is December 4th, 2013.

I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that it is going to be 2014 in less than 30 days.
So many changes have been happening and are going to happen.


I just started a new job. I literally have no idea what I am doing. I think it will be a challenge for me to understand what I have to do. The people seem nice and willing to work with me and help me out, but I know how it can sometimes be a pain in the butt to train a newbie. You have to make sure they know and understand what they are doing before you can go back to what you do. It can be annoying. It can be frustrating. It takes a crapload of patience. I get it. And I hate it. I hate being the newbie. I hate not knowing anything. I hate when they explain something to me and I have NO IDEA what they just said.
But I am unbelievably, eternally grateful for this opportunity. This job provides me with something that I have needed for a very long time.

"Don't be afraid of not knowing."

I cannot begin to describe to you how many people have posted about the snow and the cold and how they either hate it or they love it, or maybe even both. It is so annoying, but yet here I am posting about how I dislike the snow and the cold, but in some what I love it as well.

I had to walk to plasma on Tuesday when the snow first began, and it seemed as though it would never stop. I thought I would go run, so I wore workout clothes, but to my extreme dislike, the snow was slippery and icy and if I ran, I would have fallen dozen of times. I was covered in snow when I got to the center and tried to warm up, but tennis shoes are made to have holes in them and my feet never seemed to regain their feeling. But nonetheless, I braved the storm, knowing that I would get home soon.

That sounded so deep and applicable to more than just that moment.

We brave the storms everyday, whether they be addiction, depression, distractions, weaknesses, or even anger, we have to trust in the knowledge that we will get home soon, that "this too shall pass".

One thing that I have realized over and over again is the fact that I have to keep my eyes focused.
I need to remember that I am loved and cared for by so many.
I need to remember that I am blessed beyond compare.
I need to remember that if I do these things then I will be strengthened and blessed to be able to do more that I thought I could.

Day 4

I didn't grow up in poverty, nor did I lead a life of luxury and money. Instead, I lived a life where practical financial decisions were made. My parents didn't splurge on trivial items that wouldn't last. Instead, the money was spent on family things, like going out to eat or going to the movies.

I remember sometimes asking my mom if I could join a sports team and her reply was to the effect that I would most likely give up and she didn't want to spend the money for me to give up.

Ya know, they say that hindsight is always 20/20. I look back and sometimes wish my mom would have let me go out for a sports team so I could understand the nature of failing and getting back up again. The 90 dollars seems so unimportant in comparison to the life lessons I could have learned.

Why is it that now, as a college student, my finances are so important to me that they affect my relationships with others?

I could say that it was because my parents said no to a lot of things that I asked for because of the money.
or
I could say that my dad told me to start saving for college at a young age. (I worked in the cafeteria in middle school and earned about 20 dollars a month- that was the start)
or
I could say that I realize that money is pertinent to living in this society.

Don't you agree?

Even if you want to go anywhere, the gas prices alone could make you bankrupt.

My brother calls me stingy.
My parents say I worry too much.
My sister thinks my education is more important.

They are all right.
But I have reason to.

I don't have any scholarships. I don't work full time. I live in a cheap housing facility and yet my bank account reads lower than my IQ. I have considered on several occasion, getting a second job, but most of the time that would require a car, which I cannot afford AT ALL.

To live is expensive.


If life were but a dream
maybe it would all seem
to go my way 
and I may never dismay

To worry is to die
for time just passes by
with my mind racing
and my body pacing

I don't want to live
where all I have to give 
is everything temporal
when I need everything spiritual

Facing the world
with my hair fancy and curled
I say, 
Okay

I will give
I will take
I will share
I will make

For what I need to do
The Lord will help me too.


Today I am grateful for my job. It has been the best thing I could have ever asked for this past year and a half. It's not the wonderful career that I am going to put on my resume, but it has taught me about life and putting aside my natural man.

SPIRIT

Ok I have been a serious slacker with blogging.....
probably will stay that way until midterms are over.....

On Tuesday, I was asked to speak in church the upcoming Sunday. I was so excited because I love giving talks, I just don't like writing them. I will admit that most of my talks throughout my youth were written by my mother, with a few contributions here and there. When I got to college, I was so scared to give a talk because I knew I wanted to write one all by myself, but I wanted my mom to look over it and help me. I needed her to help me because I wasn't confident with my own testimony and ability.

So tomorrow I give my talk, and I can say to you that it was written by me and only me.
I feel proud to say that.

I am nervous because I want people to listen to me and the time and effort I put into the talk.
But if I trust in the Spirit, I know that those who need to hear the things I have prepared will truly listen.

It is amazing how the Spirit works. Those who are ready and prepared to receive revelation and inspiration WILL receive it.

My mission taught me the importance of being worthy of the Spirit at ALL TIMES. Why?
You never know when there is someone that you need to talk to, or service that needs to be provided to someone in need, or a warning that you need to pay attention to. When you are worthy of the Spirit, you know that you will receive the revelation to act and to help. When you don't, then you miss out on opportunities and blessings that could help you grow closer to our Heavenly Father.

I always want to be worthy of the Spirit. He comforts, protects, and strengthens me and those around me.

I know that the Spirit is a part of the Godhead. A being with united purpose with our Father in Heaven and His son, Jesus Christ.

Who, What, When, Where, Why

I like it when I have the answers to everything, especially math problems!
But I am not supposed to have them all.

My dad is still out of work. Almost 6 months now and after many, many interviews, there is nada.
They tell him that he is one of the higher ranking candidates, but yet, he doesn't get it.
Why?

He has been interviewing for jobs from Washington to California to Ohio to Delaware and Maryland. But none have chosen this amazing man,
So, Where?

Every company has an idea of the type of person they want to hire, and most of the time, my dad has met those expectations.
Who do they want?

6 months.....
When is something going to happen?

What is the best thing for him and our family?

                                                                                                                                                                   

Ok, now, forget I said any of that.

It's not about the who, the what, the when, the why, or even the How.
It's about trusting in the Lord.
Staying humble so His spirit can provide inspiration and peace to our minds.

This isn't the first time my dad has lost his job. I wouldn't say we are used to it, but it is no new situation for us.

On Sunday, we had a little Hall meeting with all the girls in my building. Unfortunately, not a lot of girls came, so they missed out on some really great insights.

We watched Elder Holland's Mormon Message "Good things to Come".

We talked afterwards about how we need to stay patient at all times and humble so the Lord can always bless us.

I had this thought about a story I read and my mom always told it to me. In the story, it refers to God as being the 4th watch God.

Well what does that mean?

Well they would describe it as such. On a boat, they men would take turns staying awake and letting the others sleep.  These would be divided into what was called as "Watch's". They lasted about 3-4 hours. Well, on the boat, there was a terrible storm, and the men were so worried. They thought the Lord would come and save them right away, but alas, He did not. Each watch passed as slow as it could have possibly gone and right at the moment, when almost all hope was gone, in the 4th watch, the Lord came and rescued them.

My God is a 4th watch God. He will come. My family may still be stuck on the 1st watch, but there will always be a 4th watch, which means, He will ALWAYS come.

It is hard. It is painful to see how hard it is.
But it will pass.

Disregard.

Ok, so my last post was kinda depressing.....

Um, who wants to hear about fear?

Not me.

Anyway, Sunday night I went over to my friends apt and we were reading conference talks from past General Conferences.  One of the ones we read was called "Continue in Patience" by President Uchtdorf.

Ok, just by the title, you know that I learned something and can apply it to my life.

Here is a few of my favorite parts:

"Patience is a godly attribute..."
"Patience means staying with something til the end."
"Brigham Young said, 'Give me patience to wait until I can understand it for myself.'"
"Patience is not a passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears.  Patience means active waiting and enduring."

During those times when we wait, when we are patient, that is when the Lord shapes us into the people we need to be.  To be patient means to endure until perfection.  Patience is a process of perfection.  After a time we will be able to "win mastery of our souls".

With the Lord, all things are possible.

When all feels like it's going down...

“None of us will accomplish all we might wish 

to. But let us do the best we can. I am 

satisfied that the Redeemer will then say, 

‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant’". 

Gordon B. Hinckley



After we have done all we can do, then the 

Lord can take care of the rest. Sometimes it 

feels as though all is lost, but I know with a 

sureity it is not lost, just waiting for us to turn

to our Heavenly Father for help.