Day 4

I didn't grow up in poverty, nor did I lead a life of luxury and money. Instead, I lived a life where practical financial decisions were made. My parents didn't splurge on trivial items that wouldn't last. Instead, the money was spent on family things, like going out to eat or going to the movies.

I remember sometimes asking my mom if I could join a sports team and her reply was to the effect that I would most likely give up and she didn't want to spend the money for me to give up.

Ya know, they say that hindsight is always 20/20. I look back and sometimes wish my mom would have let me go out for a sports team so I could understand the nature of failing and getting back up again. The 90 dollars seems so unimportant in comparison to the life lessons I could have learned.

Why is it that now, as a college student, my finances are so important to me that they affect my relationships with others?

I could say that it was because my parents said no to a lot of things that I asked for because of the money.
or
I could say that my dad told me to start saving for college at a young age. (I worked in the cafeteria in middle school and earned about 20 dollars a month- that was the start)
or
I could say that I realize that money is pertinent to living in this society.

Don't you agree?

Even if you want to go anywhere, the gas prices alone could make you bankrupt.

My brother calls me stingy.
My parents say I worry too much.
My sister thinks my education is more important.

They are all right.
But I have reason to.

I don't have any scholarships. I don't work full time. I live in a cheap housing facility and yet my bank account reads lower than my IQ. I have considered on several occasion, getting a second job, but most of the time that would require a car, which I cannot afford AT ALL.

To live is expensive.


If life were but a dream
maybe it would all seem
to go my way 
and I may never dismay

To worry is to die
for time just passes by
with my mind racing
and my body pacing

I don't want to live
where all I have to give 
is everything temporal
when I need everything spiritual

Facing the world
with my hair fancy and curled
I say, 
Okay

I will give
I will take
I will share
I will make

For what I need to do
The Lord will help me too.


Today I am grateful for my job. It has been the best thing I could have ever asked for this past year and a half. It's not the wonderful career that I am going to put on my resume, but it has taught me about life and putting aside my natural man.

nothing to worry 'bout.

so true.

so stop worrying.

It is in the past, it does not matter.

Ok, first. Watch this.
If you don't watch this, then what I will say will not make any sense. So..... watch it. :)

In my family, we LOVE to quote movies.  I mean, we watch so many of them, it is kinda hard not to pick up a few lines here and there. This one has always been a favorite.

Rafiki: "It is in the past, it does not matter." (it is only funny if you try to say it like Rafiki)

I think Rafiki has some pretty darn hilarious quotes, but they are also wise.

Do the things in the past really matter?  Does it matter what that one girl from that one class said to you on that day?
No.
It doesn't.  And if you think it does, then why?

I remember hearing somewhere that we, as humans, are almost incapable of forgetting the things in the past.
For example:
Brandon B. in third grade, called me a "Big, Fat, Chubby Leg." Now he called me this after I pushed him to the ground because he cut me in the lunch line.
I remember it because it made an impact on my life AT THAT MOMENT.  It has no purpose in my life now, so why worry?
I don't worry about anymore.  I let it go.

But that was also 10 years ago. It is harder to not worry about the things in the past when they are close in time.

Like when my friend didn't text me when I really needed to talk to her.
Or when I ruined a date with the guy of my dreams because I was so awkward.  (I still cringe at the hug)
Or when my roommates don't respect my stuff.

After several sessions of self-talk. Those things just seem so trivial. But remembering them can hurt.
I don't know if they hurt as bad at Simba getting wacked on the head with a stick, but it can hurt the heart.

Those things don't matter. Sorry Charlie, you can argue all you want on how your roommates are treating you like they don't care, but it makes no difference. It doesn't matter.

I think I was reading or listening to some talk, I have no idea where or when, but it came to my mind and it has kinda been my favorite idea ever since.

We came to this world to grow and progress and become like our Heavenly Father. We face day to day trials that test our faith and understanding of the Atonement. We came to this Earth for that purpose.
Our purpose isn't to shop at all the malls and pray on occasion.  This world was not centered around school and work and clothes. It was centered around of Father. It was created for our relationship with Him to grow. Our first priority in this life is HIM.  So why are we constantly worried about everything else, but Him?

Stop the worries about money.
Stop the worries about clothes.
Stop the worries about school.
work, friends, schedules, etc. etc. etc.

You guys know what you worry about.  I know what I worry about.

If we have a life centered around Him, then why are we worrying. He can take care of it all if we are focused on Him.