needing Faith

This week has been terribly difficult... Being home and searching for work has really proven more difficult than I had originally anticipated. Why is it so hard to get a job at a clothing retail store? Why can't they just realize that I am a hard worker and would be great anywhere....
WHY?

I hate that word.
A lot.
Why?


There is no faith, no hope or trust is that word and it only brings heartache.

Why is this happening to me?
Why can't I be more like her?
Why would he not want to be with me?
Why....Why....Why....

Faith #4
Learn more about the sacrament. Read about the Last Supper in Matthew 26:26–28; Mark 14:22–24; and Luke 22:17–20. Establish a pattern of pondering during the sacrament by listening carefully to the sacrament hymn and prayers. Think about why we partake of the bread and water. After three weeks of following this pattern, write in your journal some of the promises you make as you partake of the sacrament and remember your baptismal covenants and what you do to keep those promises. Record in your journal how your understanding of these promises has strengthened your faith in the Savior.


I had an experience a couple nights ago when I was feeling particularly low and hopeless because I couldn't seem to find a job. I was saying my prayers and the Sacrament prayer came into my mind,
"always remember Him and keep His commandments which He has given them; that they may always have His spirit to be with them."
If I want to be led in the right direction this summer while I am home, then I need to do exactly that:

• always remember Him
• keep His commandments

Then, I will have His spirit to be with me always.

What a beautiful and hopeful promise. There are no "why's" and doubtful mindsets.
I pray continually that He will lead me in the right direction. I ask why, but then I remember that He already has it all planned and He is waiting for me to trust in that plan and give Him the reins to my life. I know that as I turn it over to Him, He will lead me to greater opportunities of happiness.

Forgiveness

I swear it wasn't my fault. But yet all the fingers point at me.
I feel like every mistake, every wrongdoing is falling back into my life yelling, no, screaming at me to remember.
Remember when you weren't so perfect.
Remember when you made so many mistakes you couldn't even feel happiness.
Remember when you pretended and faked.
Remember when you lied and cheated.
You're not so great, Emily.
You're really not.

I blame myself. Even if others are pointing their fingers, I am the one that is blaming.

I then am brought to my knees.
I am so low. So humbled.
I stain my sheets with tears and finish a box of tissues.
I don't know if forgiveness is even as option.
But then I get the most amazing feeling that says to me ever so softly,

"My dear one, forgiveness is ALWAYS an option. Never forget that I have suffered for your mistakes and that you can be made whole again through me. Remember ME. Not your wrongdoings."

  President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed. Sin is a heavy burden. It brings the tenseness of guilt and the anguish of knowing that we have acted against the will of our Father in Heaven. It brings lingering remorse as we realize that because of our actions, we may have hurt others and prevented ourselves from receiving blessings our Father has been ready to give us."

There is hope in the Savior, Jesus Christ. Whenever you feel as though all is lost, remember HIM.

His sacrifice made all the difference. I know that because of His sacrifice, I can be made clean and pure in the eyes of my Heavenly Father once more.

And right now, that's all that matters to me.

click here to know more about the blessing of forgiveness,