Competitive is my middle name......

You wanna go?

bc I'll totally beat you.

No for reals.

I can eat more McNuggets than you. I can also drink more Diet Coke in one sitting than you. Oh and I'll totally whoop you at a game of Mancala.

Don't tempt me bc I will.

I know that I am competitive and I actually enjoy the adrenaline pulsing through my body as I compete in some sort of competition. But I also know that I can get out of hand and I hate it.

It's one of my insecurities. If I know that I am good at something, then I get competitive and I can get really nasty, mean, and just overall unattractive. I know this about myself and it kills me when I do it because what ends up happening is someone gets hurt.

It happened again last night. I was so caught up in winning and competing in a card game that I didn't notice a person who just wanted their presence to be acknowledged and I completely overlooked them. I beat myself up because I know I can do better and be better. How do I not do that? How can I look past my flaws and just make more of an effort to do better?

But it also hurts when people call me out on it.

How would you feel if someone pointed out all of your insecurities in front of other people? Hah. It's happened before because I am competitive and other people don't like to lose. I've started to actually avoid games that I can play well or I'll play and just "not try". The irony is that I still win.... even though I don't "try". And people still call me out on being competitive. It's incredibly frustrating.

I guess I should find people who are good sports and don't mind losing. LOL

But really though- How can I change my perspective to see competing as less of a "winning" and "I'm better than you" to more of a friendly interaction?

In the scriptures we read of John's record in the Savior's day,

among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue:

For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God. [John 12:42–43]

Elder Holland said, "Those who love the praise of men more than the praise of God seek to please men more than God, fear to offend man more than they fear to offend God, and are more concerned with what others think of them than with what God thinks. Men’s commendation and contempt can lead us from the path of safety. In contrast, Jesus, speaking of His Father, said, “I do always those things that please him” (John 8:29). This is, as President Packer said, “the only safe path to follow in life.”"

Maybe the perspective is on how I think people view me.
Maybe I should understand who I am and not care what others think of me.
Maybe their opinion of me doesn't matter.
Maybe the only opinion that matters is that of my Heavenly Father. 

So if I were to look at competition as an opportunity to show my love for my Savior....instead of fellow man.
hmmm....

Ok here's an example


I am playing a game of Sorry. I draw a "Sorry" card so I can knock someone back to home. Instead of saying "HAHAHA in your face!" I could say, "Sorry.... hahaha get it?"

Ugh, does that make sense?

There is no intentional "in your face" comment that makes someone feel less than what they are really worth. There is no scale measuring worth based on "winner vs loser". And just because you didn't win doesn't mean you are worth less and just because you won doesn't make you more than another.

Ultimately, remembering who you are will help you stay focused as a competitor and to see others that they are worthy of recognition no matter the outcome.