I wish....

I had an AWESOME weekend! I went to St. George and hiked Zion's National Park. I visited historical downtown which gave me beautiful flashbacks to my mission. I went to the temple and saw one of my dear sisters that I served with in Nauvoo. It was warm and sunny and the air was clean and fresh. Each morning I would sit on a wicker chair with a blanket wrapped tightly around me and watch the sun rise. It was amazing.

On the drive home, reality was visible on the horizon. The inversion of Utah county miles in front of us, reminding me that it is time for real life to happen again. I didn't want to go back....in fact, I begged God to make the time go by fast so I could forget this stressful, anxious time.

As we approached good 'ole P-town, I pulled out my phone and checked my voicemails, emails, social media, etc.

BAD IDEA-especially if you want to NOT be apart of the real world anymore.

The voicemail reminded me of my car in the shop and the $$$ required to JUST diagnose it.
The email informed me of graduate school statuses that left me on the brink of tears.
Social media updated me of my lack of romantic interests.

It felt like a huge 10 ton semi truck just dumped all its crap on me and I wanted to scream.

I called my mom. I called my dad. I called my mom again.
I sat on the bench outside my apartment and just cried.

I wished life was easy. I wished my parents were close by so they could squeeze all the pain out of my body in a big hug. I wished my roommates would be more aware of me and want to help me. I wished there was someone who would come and sit by me and tell me that everything would be okay.

My mom kept talking through these thoughts, reminding me that everything would be okay. And then she said to me, "Emily, aren't you so glad that you have a loving Heavenly Father who is willing to tell you no, so you understand that there is something better out there for you?"

That question tugged on every heart string and I began to sob.

My Heavenly Father is really there at every detail of my life. He is conscious of how I am feeling at every moment and He is directing my path.
I was humbled by this experience. He should have been the first person I turned to in that moment of despair.

I am grateful that I have a loving Heavenly Father who will tell me no to remind me that there are greater yes's waiting for me.

I know that He loves me. I know that He has a BEAUTIFUL plan for me and it is designed to give me the most happiness!