I was a part of Student Leadership my freshmen and sophomore years. It defined me and I LOVED all the people and the things that I learned. There were many difficult moments, probably some of the reason why I struggled in high school, but I have to say that it led me to be the person that I am today.
So every week, a class (freshmen, sophomore, junior, senior) would teach a lesson of sorts. Whether it be an activity or watching a movie, or something along those lines, it would teach us a lesson to help us become better leaders.
It was the sophomore's day to do the lesson. They wanted to teach a lesson on honesty.
Every person had a yellow sheet of paper with their name on it.
We then would pass it around and write our honest feelings about the person.
In that moment, we all thought it was a great idea. I mean, we all struggle with our honest feelings and this was a way to help us express them.
Well, turns out, it was just an opportunity to insult every single person anonymously.
No accountability for telling the person what you really think of them.
I was at fault and I will completely fess up to that. I took advantage of some hurt feelings and emotions and wrote them down. But there were a lot of positive things that I wrote as well.
But when I got mine back and read it, I remember feeling like someone grabbed my throat and I couldn't breathe anymore. I left class in tears, tore up my sheet of paper, and shoved it in the trash can.
But when I was thinking about this experience in the car today, I remember reading a note by someone that said,
"Don't listen to any of these comments. They aren't true."
It is so easy to only remember the fear and bad feelings. Why isn't it easier to remember the hope and the good.
I knew right away who this person was and I remember him always being there for me. He was my best friend and I am so grateful for his kindness, especially when those who I thought were my friends were not so kind to me.
This experience taught me to toughen up. To grow a shell and not be so easily hurt.
Then came the next sophomore lesson.
Instead of honesty notes, they wanted to do what they called, "Golden Bricks".
Everyone got the same yellow paper as last time and we all wrote the things that we loved about the person on them. It was wonderful and a great turn around experience for me.
But remembering this experience in the car made me think of my friend.
I miss him a lot.
He helped me see that the comments that were written on my honesty paper did not matter. I was not the person that they were calling me and that I was more valuable than that.
I want to be that person that tells people that other people don't matter.
Their comments do not define us.
They only have power if we give them power.
One of the sisters I served with in Nauvoo taught me a wonderful and eternal lesson when it comes to communication.
Before you say something, ask yourself,
Is it true?
Is it nice?
Is it necessary?
It really makes a difference when you ask those questions to yourself. Most of the time, the things you will say will mean more and have a more positive influence on those around you.
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