“Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Sometimes I think we can forget that the Atonement is more than just being able to be clean again. It can give us strength to overcome the scariest of trials. His grace is sufficient. We can become the people He needs us to be, but only if we give Him our self. Our imperfect self.
I have experienced this firsthand. I can't deal with everything on my own. If I do, then I will fall.
There was a song that we played in Nauvoo called "Pennsylvania 65000". The French Horn section had this big soli part that was very difficult to master. I spent 2 hours on this section with no improvement. I felt so discouraged. I thought to myself, "I know how to play this instrument. I know what this part is supposed to sound like. Why can't I just put it together??? Why?" We went to dinner that night and when we came back for evening rehearsal I said a prayer. I told my Heavenly Father that I have done all that I can do. I feel so discouraged. Please help me. Take it from me and help me. I reread that entry in my journal. I read how that evening rehearsal was one of the best rehearsals I have had. Pennsylvania 65000 was one of my favorite songs by the time I left.
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